If you watched Why 2016 Was Tough + My Focus Word For 2017, you know that last year was challenging for me personally, and I am focused on becoming more rooted in 2017. (If you didn’t watch that video, this post may not make a lot of sense!) Also related: Happy Tears, Friend Dates, + Volunteering | January: Rooted, Walking Through Grief + Small Steps Forward | February: Rooted, Travel + Finding Peace | March: Rooted, Frustrated But Hopeful | April: Rooted, and Feeling Positive and Thankful | May: Rooted.
June is the best month I’ve had in a long, long time. Talking about the past couple of years in this video brought me to tears. It’s been a journey to say the least. If you’re interested in hearing more, you can watch my June: Rooted video below or on YouTube here. (Make sure to subscribe and give the video a thumbs up!)
// How was your June? Are you making any progress on your 2017 word for the year or New Year’s resolution?
Related: Why 2016 Was Tough + My Focus Word For 2017 + Happy Tears, Friend Dates, + Volunteering | January: Rooted + Walking Through Grief + Small Steps Forward | February: Rooted + Travel + Finding Peace | March: Rooted + Frustrated But Hopeful | April: Rooted + Feeling Positive and Thankful | May: Rooted
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Thank you for your honesty and openness, as always, Blair. What you are going through continues to really resonate in many ways– and in fact your video unlocks a lot of sadness within myself that I don’t openly acknowledge. I think it is a healthy thing that you are processing all these emotions – in this chapter of your life – in this raw, open way. I feel unable to open up about feelings of loneliness and isolation to anyone except my husband (and on your blog!). While I have relatives who live close to me, I don’t feel comfortable talking to them because when I have intimated certain things, it is met with a lot of interference and pity (as well-meaning as they are)! On (delaying) starting a family: I have been experiencing similar feelings. I realise that while I don’t really have a support network (aside from my husband and relatives who I wouldn’t want to rely on for help), I have realised that when I am in that stage of life, it will probably be THE time when I can hopefully easily make new friendships with other mums, in this area. I would love to talk this through with you more, perhaps in my next letter 🙂
Blair Lamb says
Hi Lou! I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a challenging time, too. Thanks for sharing some of your story. I’m so glad we can support each other from across the pond! 😉 xoxo
Thank you so so much for this series and for being so open and vulnerable with your experience. I relate to so many of the things you are going through, and I want you to know that your blog has been a great source of encouragement to me these past few months. What you are going through is so hard and painful, and I hear you so completely on so many things. My husband and I have been in Miami almost a year now, but I still feel stuck and very unsure of how to move forward here. I, too, want to get rooted, but I can’t seem to make it happen and feel quite discouraged and unhappy. Feeling like you don’t belong is really one of the worst and most damaging feelings in the world. I’m trying so hard to get my footing here, but it’s taking forever. My mom has always encouraged me to “bloom where you’re planted,” but that is easier said than done! I’m trusting that it just takes time. Like, a lot of time. This is so annoying and not helpful when you’re in the thick of it and you just want to feel some relief. Honestly, we’ve been here a year, and I don’t even feel like I’ve planted any seeds, so how can I even think about blooming? (Sidenote: I have also been toying with the idea of planting a garden. It feels like I could use that visual reminder that something is growing, something is happening here.) Well, this video brought me to tears, and I mean that in the best way… very cathartic! I so greatly appreciate your honesty about postponing starting a family. We have put this on hold as well because of the shakeup of this move, and I think I’m experiencing quite a bit of anger, grief and sadness about that and perhaps fear that it won’t ever happen for me. Needless to say, I have cried so much this past year. Trusting and hoping that I will find my place, in time, but right now, I’m feeling all the hard feelings and it’s messy and very uncomfortable! Thanks again for sharing your story and for reminding me that “we’re all in the same soup” like Anne Lamott writes. I truly admire you and all the steps you are taking to feel more connected and rooted. It is very inspiring to me, and I’m hoping I can put some of these things into practice. Wishing you peace and contentment and joy and all the things I wish for all of us. I see all of the ways you are showing up, and you are making a difference! Thank you again for this blog and for being you.
Blair Lamb says
Hi Ashley! Thanks for watching and for sharing your heart. I’m sorry you’ve struggled too. Why does no one talk about this? It’s so hard! We are definitely all in the same soup! (I’ve never heard that quote before…I love it.) Wishing you peace, contentment, and joy as well. Thanks for following along. xoxo
You are SO mature to have waited to start a family and not try to fill that hole with a baby. I’m deeply impressed.
Blair Lamb says
Thank you. Hard as it is, we know it’s the right thing to wait; a baby is not a solution to loneliness. Thanks for watching and following along. Much love xoxo
Have you ever considered that you might be experiencing a clinical depression that is making your experience much more difficult? Sometimes our neurochemistry makes it difficult for us to find happiness or connectedness regardless of what is around us, and medication or psychotherapy/counselling are good avenues to try.
Oops, just watched the part of your video where you said you didn’t like to have people give advice and realized that this might have come across that way!
I totally get that this kind of experience if terrible. In high school, I had some difficult situations with bullying and associated loneliness. Once I got to college, the feelings persisted, but the situation had changed. I realize that while my life circumstances had changed, I had been experiencing a medical issue the entire time. Taking antidepressants improved my ability to find happiness considerably and find God again when I never felt his presence. I often wonder what if my experience of loneliness in high school would have been improved at all if I had been diagnosed and treated earlier. The life circumstances were still hard, but I know now that I have a medical condition which makes it that much harder to overcome. I would never want anyone else to have to wonder the same thing – so considering the medical side of our mental health is so important!
Blair Lamb says
Hi Helen! Thanks for following along and sharing your story, I really appreciate it. All the best to you xoxo
I nodded and cried along to so much of this (in the airport no less ), laughed out loud at “Listen, sister!” because I feel that so much with the local advice-givers, and then there were those parts that I can’t know or understand, too. As always, and as others have said, thank you SO much for sharing and being vulnerable and talking about this. I feel so much less crazy, and frankly so understood, when you voice so many feelings I’ve had the past year in my Gainesville. This series soothes my soul.
My July joys: the fourth with family in NC, mini Disney trip with my brother (as you know ), and moving into the new house at the end of the month!
Blair Lamb says
Oh my gosh, I have both laughed and cried watching different videos in the airport before and the look on other peoples’ faces is so priceless. It makes me smile to think of you watching this there! 🙂 It’s bittersweet to hear that you can relate to my experience–mostly sweet, though, because we’re all going to walk through junk in our lives, and knowing there are other women who “get it” is so comforting. Thank you for following along!
You are about to have an AWESOME July! Enjoy it!!
You are SO brave, Blair. I loved watching this video and teared up watching it. I’m in a very different season of life (unmarried nor in a relationship, not considering children at the moment, living in a big city) but so much of this resonated with me. It almost (*almost*) made me wish I lived in your tiny town in Texas so we could be better friends! I really admire your vulnerability and rawness in public videos like this, and your strength is palpable. I think your and Riley’s decision to delay having children was such a mature, if incredibly tough, decision. Your future children will be so lucky to have such a rational, smart, wonderful mother.
Blair Lamb says
Hi Kirsten! 🙂 It’s amazing how much of a common thread runs through experiences, isn’t it? I’m sorry to hear you’ve dealt with some of the same issues, but also thankful to know I’m not alone in it. Thank you for your kind words–and if you ever find yourself in Gainesville, let’s hang out! Hehe! xo Thanks for watching!
I understand how you feel as I went through very similar things before, I am living abroad and changed cities many times and struggled with finding new friends while family is far away. I have also experienced depression at the time and is/was not easy to fight it! But with strength and by not giving up slowly you will approach what you are looking for! Don’t forget that you are not alone in this and God is giving us the obstacles to make us stronger. I know that words sometimes seems empty but don’t give up and keep trying! I am certain you will find your happiness very soon! 🙂
Thank you for being so open and raw about this topic. Your story and wisdom helps me comprehend and grasp my situation, and I think so many more people than we realize can relate as well. I just graduated from a miserable, out-of-state college experience, also have no friends, and been putting my all into my relationship with my wonderful and loving boyfriend of two years. I’m so glad to hear that it’s at least getting a little better this summer and I hope you feel more rooted with time. We are still young! This is a small chapter in the grand scheme of things that we’ll look back on as a time of change. “It’s always darkest before dawn,” or something like that!
Btw, I live in the Seattle area! You’re visiting at the most beautiful time of year. I’m sure you have your own fun plans, but if you want some local recommendations: Twin Falls and Snoqualmie Falls are both ~1 hour hikes round trip, super easy, and gorgeous. Take the ferry to Mora ice cream, hit up the Starbucks Roastery, and dine at the upscale restaurants in Bellevue if you can. Enjoy your trip and congratulations on 2 years of marriage!