(…Or, the beginning of 7 months of Christmas Eve-like anticipation…)
Everyone told me that I’d be excited. But I had no idea it’d be like this.
I’ve barely eaten in a few weeks (save roughly one meal a day). I’ve been awake until 2:00am every night. I wake up early, like really early, easily. It feels like massive amounts of adrenaline are pumping through my veins all the time. I’ve had to give up caffeine altogether (for now) because I haven’t stopped buzzing with otherworldly excitement since I got engaged a couple of weeks ago.
My current mental state is an endless maze–I can’t focus on any one thing, but my mind is constantly weaving down one thought path, then another, then another, then another. There have been small, precious moments with Jesus where I’ve felt a pause amidst this crazy, overstimulating maze, but most days lately are spent trying to make sense of my swirling thoughts and emotions.
It’s nothing negative–it’s everything positive, actually, just all at once. Each piece of my future is so full of anticipation for me that I’m not sure which to tackle first. Where will we get married? Where will we live? Are we going to buy a house? What can we afford? Which venue/photographer/caterer/florist should we go with? And the questions, thoughts, feelings, emotions–they all go on…
No hard decisions have been made yet, but I am strongly leaning towards a few things. First, we’ve decided to get married this July (no definite date until we book a venue), somewhere in Texas. Second, we love the colors navy blue, blush pink, and gold…well. There you have it. Somewhere in Texas, sometime in July, there will be a wedding with the colors navy, blush, and gold.
Rather than try to nail down details that I have not nailed down, let me tell you my vision. My 30,000 foot vision for my wedding and future.
I dream about an intimate, romantic, warm wedding. I want to add small, meaningful details to make it feel just like me and Riley. I hope our guests are relaxed and comfortable and everything–us, the décor, the venue, our officiant–exudes joy and nothing feels uptight or stuffy. Mostly, I pray that Jesus is very clearly at the center of our wedding day and marriage.
Here are some inspirational photos that are helping me form my vision:
So, there’s a very small sampling of my wedding inspiration thus far (all found on my Pinterest boards). If you see something on Pinterest that you think might help me, feel free to send me the pin–simply click on the image you want to send, click “Send,” and then type in my name! I would love some assistance in narrowing down my vision! 🙂
Outside of planning our wedding day, Riley and I are also seriously praying through the time afterwords. We live three and a half hours apart at present, meaning that one of us will need to move so that we can live in the same place. There’s really no easy or simple solution, so we’ve handed the situation over to the Lord and are eagerly waiting on Him to reveal our next steps. In the meantime, we are looking at houses in both places so that we can [hopefully] have a house in place before our nuptials.
Finally, there a couple of personal goals I have before we wed. Like any bride, I want to look my best on such an important day. I’m interested in doing the Insanity 60 Day Challenge (anyone done it?) to tone up, so that I walk down the aisle feeling my best physically. Additionally, I’d like to get my teeth whitened! 🙂 Emotionally and spiritually, both Riley and I are reading several books on Christian marriage as one small way to prepare for becoming one–we’re also going to get premarital counseling.
I realize now more than ever that there’s no way to be fully prepared for planning a wedding, planning a marriage, and planning a life. The good news is that I am completely free from the necessity to be fully prepared. God is behind me and before me. He has orchestrated this love and this life, and so, in the midst of swirling anticipation and excitement, I will look to Him for the one next step.