I’m terrible at letting things go. When I’m hurt, I’m usually really hurt, and when I’m disappointed, sad, or angry, I’m usually really disappointed, sad, or angry. As a person, I am very emotionally sensitive and can almost always voice exactly how I’m feeling. If I don’t know you, I’ll probably just respond with an “I’m doing well,” but my close friends know that I’m the first to voice “I’m upset about ____,” I’m annoyed that ____,” or “I can’t believe that ____.” I honestly believe that holding emotions in and bottling them up from everyone is unhealthy and a great way to be miserable. (That being said, I also believe in protecting my heart and only sharing my deepest and truest emotions with my deepest and truest family and friends.)
Which explains why, I presume, I desperately struggle with letting things go. I earnestly want to be the type of person who lets things roll off her back…but I am inherently not that way. As I’ve come awake to who I truly am, and have begun to understand the fibers that knit me together, I’ve come to accept the bad with the good.
However, this inability to let things go–this is a problem because the God I love and serve asks me time and time again to release the negativity…you know, “Let go & Let God.”
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” -Ephesians 4:31-32
That’s convicting. Wholly convicting. What about this verse?
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” -Isaiah 43:18-19 (love this verse)
And so even though I’m not inherently able to let go on my own, when I accepted Christ as Savior, His strength began to live in me (Philippians 4:13), and thus I am able to do vastly more than I could ever do on my own. It’s the sinking in of that truth that will change my life, not the bitterness and resentment I harbor in my soul.
It’s a daily battle. To breathe deep and remember that my life is not my own, it’s not in my hands (praise God, for real), and I am only but a vessel. To remind myself that I can’t be an effective vessel for Christ if I’m burdened with anger and past hurt, that it’s only in true release and allowing God to take over that I can serve His people. Each day, another day to hand it to the Lord. To trust. To let go.
I challenge you with this–what is God asking you to do that isn’t inherent to your character? What obstacle is in your life that you can’t overcome on your own? Know yourself, know your weaknesses. (For it’s in knowing our weaknesses that we discover our strengths.) Be okay with them…be at peace with who you are.
But don’t be complacent or apathetic about the person God is making your into. It’s a process…it’s a journey…it takes a lifetime.
What’s your “let it go?” Is it to be bolder? To trust more fully? To love more wholeheartedly?
I pray that the Lord would show you where He wants to do work in your life, and that your heart’s eyes would be open to see it.